


An Oral History of the Game That Changed the Universe

by thinkatory



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen, Metafiction, Not Epilogue Compliant, Oral History, Trope Bingo Round 12
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-16
Updated: 2019-06-16
Packaged: 2020-05-12 15:13:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19231669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thinkatory/pseuds/thinkatory
Summary: What follows are documents discovered on Earth C created shortly after the defeat of Lord English. The editor has attempted to bring these together without much in the way of unnecessary commentary to elucidate the events that led up to English's defeat.Some will be more instructive than others, but all that have been discovered have been included.





	An Oral History of the Game That Changed the Universe

**Author's Note:**

> I don't even know.

What follows are documents discovered on Earth C created shortly after the defeat of Lord English. The editor has attempted to bring these together without much in the way of unnecessary commentary to elucidate the events that led up to English's defeat.

Some will be more instructive than others, but all that have been discovered have been included.

* * *

>   
> 
> 
> DAVE: so all i do is talk into this mic
> 
> ROSE: Yes.
> 
> DAVE: about the game
> 
> ROSE: Yes.
> 
> DAVE: thats gonna take forever
> 
> ROSE: I don't expect you to go into any detail you don't want to.
> 
> DAVE: well we played a game
> 
> DAVE: jade cleaned my apartment with toilet water
> 
> DAVE: it destroyed the earth
> 
> DAVE: i died a million times
> 
> DAVE: we spent way too long on a fucking meteor with vriska and karkat
> 
> ROSE: I thought you enjoyed Karkat's company.
> 
> DAVE: eventually
> 
> DAVE: when he calmed down
> 
> DAVE: thats not the point
> 
> ROSE: Then tell me the point.

[Ed. note: There's a pause for five seconds. Then Dave speaks for three minutes and fourteen seconds, or roughly two pages, about nothing in particular, including references to Troll Eminem and President Barack Obama. This has been cut for time.]

>   
> 
> 
> ROSE: You can talk to me, Dave.
> 
> DAVE: i dunno
> 
> DAVE: the game
> 
> DAVE: its a lot
> 
> ROSE: I know.
> 
> ROSE: Tell me about the game.
> 
> DAVE: used time travel
> 
> DAVE: bred frogs
> 
> DAVE: we did everything right
> 
> DAVE: we should have won
> 
> ROSE: Didn't we?
> 
> DAVE: you know what i meant
> 
> ROSE: You're speaking for posterity.
> 
> ROSE: Did we not succeed?
> 
> DAVE: i know that people had to die for englishs shitty plot to go through
> 
> DAVE: i wouldnt say we won the game
> 
> DAVE: just cause were alive doesnt mean we won
> 
> ROSE: He's dead and we're alive.
> 
> DAVE: i was supposed to talk about the game
> 
> ROSE: Yes.
> 
> DAVE: i was right the whole time
> 
> DAVE: it was a shitty game
> 
> ROSE: It was our destiny.
> 
> DAVE: cant deny the graphics are good
> 
> ROSE: Dave.
> 
> DAVE: we played a game
> 
> DAVE: doomed to fail
> 
> DAVE: everything went to shit i guess
> 
> DAVE: thats what john said
> 
> DAVE: then he saved all our asses and thats what i remember
> 
> DAVE: living on that meteor just waiting to figure out what the fuck to do
> 
> DAVE: then jade was evil and she helped me make the stupid welsh sword
> 
> DAVE: and that was all we needed
> 
> DAVE: boom
> 
> DAVE: hes gone
> 
> DAVE: we get earth c
> 
> DAVE: fuck around all over again like life is normal
> 
> ROSE: This is our normal now.
> 
> DAVE: yeah
> 
> ROSE: Thank you for your time, Dave.
> 
> DAVE: do you think anyones going to listen or read any of this
> 
> ROSE: Probably not.
> 
> DAVE: yeah thought not

* * *

>   
> 
> 
> JOHN: rose, i do want to help you!
> 
> JOHN: i just want to do this quick, i have somewhere to be.
> 
> ROSE: Certainly.
> 
> ROSE: There's no need to belabor the point. Tell me what you remember.
> 
> JOHN: oh.
> 
> JOHN: well, we played the game. at first it was really stupid.
> 
> JOHN: then there was the meteor. a lot of meteors, but one almost killed me!
> 
> JOHN: then i did a thing and wound up in the medium and we started playing the game for real.
> 
> ROSE: What did you think of the game?
> 
> JOHN: i mean. it's insane.
> 
> JOHN: i wouldn't take it back but sometimes i wish…
> 
> ROSE: I know.
> 
> JOHN: anyway.
> 
> JOHN: it all went really bad. we had to scratch our session and restart the universe, escape the old one, and… and a lot of people died.
> 
> ROSE: But you fixed all of that.
> 
> JOHN: yeah.
> 
> ROSE: John.
> 
> ROSE: If you don't want to talk about it.
> 
> JOHN: i'm fine. thanks though!

[Ed. note: John sounds perturbed, and a brief silence follows his comment.]

>   
> 
> 
> ROSE: All right.
> 
> ROSE: Whenever you're ready.
> 
> JOHN: vriska and jade are the ones who did it.
> 
> ROSE: But we needed you.
> 
> JOHN: yeah i guess.
> 
> ROSE: I mean it.
> 
> ROSE: None of us would be here today without you.
> 
> JOHN: rose.
> 
> JOHN: thanks.

* * *

>   
> 
> 
> JADE: so i guess i talk into this?
> 
> JADE: i wonder where rose is.
> 
> JADE: well my name is jade harley!
> 
> JADE: i'm a dog-girl and i used to have powers but now i don't.
> 
> JADE: um.
> 
> JADE: i'm supposed to talk about the game i guess?
> 
> JADE: i played with dave, mostly.
> 
> JADE: we had to create a frog to create a new universe but i guess karkat messed that all up for us.
> 
> JADE: there was… someone who wanted to kill us all and ruin everything.

[Ed. note: Jade cannot and will not say more about Bec Noir.]

>   
> 
> 
> JADE: we tried to fix everything by scratching the universe, you know.
> 
> JADE: but it didn't work. john survived. john did it. 
> 
> JADE: john brought us back to where we needed to be.
> 
> JADE: then when we were finally there and ready, i... 
> 
> JADE: at least i helped him make the sword.
> 
> ROSE: Jade?
> 
> JADE: oh hi!
> 
> ROSE: I'm sorry to interrupt. Didn't we schedule this for noon?
> 
> JADE: eleven i thought?
> 
> ROSE: Hm. Well. How is it going?
> 
> JADE: i think i'm done actually!
> 
> ROSE: Oh. Oh, good.

* * *

[Ed. note: For the sake of ease and brevity, Ms. Lalonde's entry will be heavily truncated.]

>   
> 
> 
> ROSE: Some years ago, we played a game called Sburb.
> 
> ROSE: The reviews were lukewarm.

[Ed. note: Rose goes on for four minutes and fifty two seconds about her theories of whether or not these reviewers received true copies of the game, and if the game came to Her Imperious Condescension and was passed down to be sent specifically to her, Jade, John, and Dave.]

>   
> 
> 
> ROSE: Once in the Medium…
> 
> ROSE: I found my path.
> 
> ROSE: It was not easy.
> 
> ROSE: But there was nothing I could do.
> 
> ROSE: They knew every move I would make.
> 
> ROSE: They knew, because it had already been done.
> 
> ROSE: Even puppets only move when their masters move.
> 
> ROSE: Imagine the implications.

[Ed. note: Go on and imagine. I'll spare you Rose's navel-gazing for the next four minutes and two seconds. She's avoiding something, and we'll let her get to the point.]

>   
> 
> 
> ROSE: The point is that I never could have chosen the 'right' path.
> 
> ROSE: I was always meant to do what Scratch wanted me to.
> 
> ROSE: Or Jade wouldn't have the power of the Green Sun to save John, and the universe would have had no retcon, and all would have been lost.
> 
> ROSE: I did the right thing. I did the only thing.
> 
> ROSE: I did what Seers are meant to do.
> 
> ROSE: I saw the path ahead, and I walked it.

* * *

>   
> 
> 
> KARKAT: I WANT TO NOTE THAT I'M DOING THIS UNDER PROTEST.
> 
> ROSE: It's noted.
> 
> KARKAT: YOU JUST WANT ME TO TALK.
> 
> ROSE: Yes.
> 
> KARKAT: ABOUT WHAT? ABOUT THE GAME? WHAT GOOD IS THAT GOING TO DO?
> 
> ROSE: It's called 'history,' Karkat.
> 
> KARKAT: NO ONE IS GOING TO CARE.
> 
> ROSE: I think future generations will care.
> 
> KARKAT: ABOUT WHAT THE FUCK I HAVE TO SAY?

[Ed. note: Karkat complains that no one listened to him as friendleader during the Sgrub playthrough for roughly two minutes and forty-five seconds, then falls silent as he recalls the deaths as the group fell apart. Rose speaks up.]

>   
> 
> 
> ROSE: You were at the center of a lot of things.
> 
> ROSE: All you need to do is explain.
> 
> KARKAT: FINE.
> 
> KARKAT: WE PLAYED SGRUB. WE WON. WE CREATED A VERSION OF THIS UNIVERSE, AND YOU HUMANS.
> 
> KARKAT: EXCEPT I'M A FUCKUP SO I RUINED YOUR GAME.
> 
> KARKAT: YOUR UNIVERSE.

[Ed. note: Karkat breathes a heavy, weary sigh.]

>   
> 
> 
> KARKAT: ANYWAY, YOUR GAME GOES TO SHIT, SO YOU SCRATCH IT, WE ALL FLEE ON A STUPID METEOR BASE, AND I'M STUCK WITH YOU AND STRIDER FOR THREE YEARS.
> 
> ROSE: He said the same thing about you.
> 
> KARKAT: WHAT, THAT HE WAS STUCK WITH ME?
> 
> KARKAT: THAT'S HOOFBEAST PRODUCT IF I'VE EVER HEARD IT.
> 
> KARKAT: HE'S THE ONE WHO LOOKS FOR ME.
> 
> ROSE: Hm. Anyway.
> 
> KARKAT: AND WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO AFTER THAT.
> 
> KARKAT: TRIED TO FIGHT BUT NO ONE WOULD LET ME.
> 
> KARKAT: KANAYA KNOCKED ME OUT IN THE MIDDLE OF EVERYTHING.
> 
> ROSE: Which was important.
> 
> ROSE: You're important to the culture of trolls that are growing now.
> 
> KARKAT: OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE.
> 
> ROSE: I'm serious.
> 
> KARKAT: WE WERE SUPPOSED TO TALK ABOUT THE GAME.
> 
> ROSE: We needed you.
> 
> KARKAT: THAT'S IT, I'M LEAVING.
> 
> ROSE: If you want.
> 
> KARKAT: YOU CAN DESTROY THAT RECORDING IF YOU WANT.
> 
> ROSE: I don't think so.
> 
> KARKAT: FUCK.

* * *

[Ed. note: You will note that this section does not have a transcript.

Instead, we will discuss the nature of this document. Some of the events described taking place after the Sburb sessions are vaguely described due to a disagreement with the nature of the events which took place at those times as described on a website which will not be named, in an uncharacteristic prosaic way. This is a choice made by the editor, who will remain unnamed and in pseudonym only.

The editor suggests that one saves one's time to imagine a better universe than to observe one that lacks verisimilitude based on prior events and character descriptions.

Read fic.]

* * *

>   
> 
> 
> VRISKA: Is this gonna take long?
> 
> VRISKA: I'm 8usy.
> 
> ROSE: We can keep it brief.
> 
> VRISKA: Good.
> 
> ROSE: Tell me about the game.
> 
> VRISKA: Well, we won at Sgru8. Mostly 8ecause of me.
> 
> VRISKA: Then we defeated Lord English. Mostly 8ecause of me.
> 
> VRISKA: Is that all you're asking?
> 
> ROSE: I'd like a little more detail.
> 
> VRISKA: Oh, well.
> 
> VRISKA: John was useful too.
> 
> VRISKA: I always liked him.
> 
> ROSE: We know.
> 
> VRISKA: ...And I guess Strider had that sword.
> 
> ROSE: Is that all you have to say?
> 
> VRISKA: Maybe?
> 
> ROSE: This is for posterity.
> 
> VRISKA: History????????

[Ed. note: Vriska talks for twenty minutes about her central role in all things Sburb and Sgrub. The transcription {done by another poor soul} includes ellipses every few minutes' worth of material until it devolves into "....." and nothing further. Your editor is devoted to a right and true history, so sees nothing lost.]

* * *

>   
> 
> 
> ROXY: hi rose!
> 
> ROSE: Hello, Roxy.
> 
> ROSE: Why don't you sit.
> 
> ROXY: yeah!
> 
> ROXY: oh, hi janey!
> 
> JANE: Hello, Roxy, Rose!
> 
> ROSE: Oh. I wasn't expecting both of you.
> 
> ROXY: don't worry, we'll have fun.
> 
> ROSE: Yes.
> 
> ROSE: So why don't you tell me about the game?
> 
> JANE: Ah. Well.
> 
> ROXY: jane, don't worry.
> 
> JANE: I just don't have much to say, I'm sorry.
> 
> ROXY: nothing at all??
> 
> ROSE: I see that you're uncomfortable.
> 
> JANE: I've left all that behind.
> 
> ROXY: i know, but it happened!
> 
> ROXY: people should know your side of the story.
> 
> JANE: You of all people should know -- 
> 
> ROXY: i forgave you a long time ago.
> 
> ROSE: Tell us what happened.
> 
> JANE: I have to go.
> 
> ROXY: jane, please…

[Ed. note: Rose sighs as Jane leaves the room.]

>   
> 
> 
> ROSE: Why don't you tell me what happened?
> 
> ROXY: oh. um.
> 
> ROXY: our game was kind of shitty?
> 
> ROXY: we couldn't play like you guys could even if your session was null or whatever.
> 
> ROXY: so we just hung out and there was drama and yeah
> 
> ROXY: it sucked
> 
> ROXY: jane's upset because she tried to kill me while she was possessed by the batterwitch
> 
> ROXY: but it's better than living where i was before
> 
> ROXY: with no friends
> 
> ROXY: no you, no john, no callie
> 
> ROXY: and now i get to hug dirk whenever i want
> 
> ROSE: I bet he loves that.
> 
> ROXY: he does!
> 
> ROSE: So you didn't enjoy your void session.
> 
> ROXY: hahahaha no
> 
> ROSE: I imagine you wouldn't.
> 
> ROXY: hey rose
> 
> ROSE: Yes?
> 
> ROXY: why are you doing this
> 
> ROSE: I want people to know the truth.
> 
> ROXY: which is??
> 
> ROSE: That what we did was the furthest thing from easy.
> 
> ROSE: But we did it anyway.
> 
> ROSE: Not necessarily because we were destined to, but because it was the right thing to do.
> 
> ROXY: yeah i guess
> 
> ROSE: I'll cut that from the recording.
> 
> ROSE: Too on the nose.

* * *

>   
> 
> 
> DIRK: Let the record show I've already submitted my answers digitally.
> 
> ROSE: There is something to be said for oral histories.
> 
> DIRK: What I gave you is still a primary source document.
> 
> ROSE: I'll only detain you for a few minutes if you insist.
> 
> DIRK: What more can I say than I've already offered?
> 
> ROSE: Explain it to me. In short.

[Ed. note: Dirk laughs.]

>   
> 
> 
> ROSE: I understand that being brief is difficult for you, but humor me.
> 
> DIRK: Our session was a void session. There was little by way of adventure and much in the way of drama. There's just not much to tell.
> 
> ROSE: Nothing at all?
> 
> ROSE: Not even the battle with the Condesce?
> 
> DIRK: I did a blow-by-blow in my document.
> 
> ROSE: You want people to know the truth.
> 
> DIRK: More than anything.
> 
> ROSE: But you won't own up to it in your own voice.
> 
> ROSE: Why is that?
> 
> DIRK: It's repetitive.
> 
> ROSE: It's real.
> 
> DIRK: What do you mean?
> 
> ROSE: I'm asking you to be honest about the events that took place during and after your game.
> 
> ROSE: To tell me the truth of how we got to this place where we can say there's some peace.
> 
> DIRK: Should I read off of the page?
> 
> ROSE: Dirk.
> 
> DIRK: Let me pull it up.
> 
> ROSE: Are you done?
> 
> DIRK: It happened.
> 
> DIRK: I don't have much more to say than that.
> 
> ROSE: Your text is dry.
> 
> ROSE: It lacks conviction.
> 
> DIRK: Thank you.

[Ed. note: A ten second silence follows this sarcastic comment.]

>   
> 
> 
> ROSE: Thank you for your time, Dirk.
> 
> DIRK: Anytime.
> 
> JAKE: Oh there you are Dirk!
> 
> JAKE: Can I join you?
> 
> DIRK: I was just leaving.
> 
> JAKE: Rose? Do you want me to…
> 
> DIRK: Maybe later.
> 
> ROSE: I see.
> 
> DIRK: Come on, Jake.

* * *

>   
> 
> 
> KANAYA: I Don't Have Much To Say, Rose
> 
> ROSE: I know.
> 
> KANAYA: I Fought In The Game
> 
> KANAYA: I Did Everything I Could So That We Would Win
> 
> KANAYA: I Met You
> 
> ROSE: Yes.
> 
> KANAYA: And He Nearly Won
> 
> KANAYA: Did The Others Say That
> 
> ROSE: No.
> 
> KANAYA: We Might Have Easily Lost The Universe To Him
> 
> ROSE: I'm glad we're here.
> 
> KANAYA: Yes
> 
> ROSE: No matter what it took.
> 
> KANAYA: Too Many Are Dead
> 
> ROSE: I know.
> 
> KANAYA: But
> 
> KANAYA: More Will Live
> 
> ROSE: Yes.
> 
> ROSE: There is hope.
> 
> KANAYA: Yes

* * *

_A note from your editor:_

There are no true stories told.

Every story comes from memory, and every memory is flawed. Memories can be shaded positive and negative by events that follow, happy memories tainted by betrayal, sad memories buoyed by good results. Stories are told by the last impression we have of those memories, and can change from day to day depending on how we interpret those memories. Stories are remembered by their endings.

Stories are what we are willing to tell based on what we are able to see of the past. Nothing more. Truth must be gleaned from between each line.

My interpretation of a story should be very different than yours. Draw your own conclusions.


End file.
